Built on the site of an ancient Cherokee burial ground, Benedict Arnold State University draws upon the proud tradition of the great man it was named after. Starting in 2000, we have been taking your money and handing out diplomas in all sorts of subjects: business, fine arts, agriculture and that one where you study lots of things but then end up five years later with a degree that gets you nowhere. That one is popular.
After the great scandal of 2003, it was decided by the Board of Regents, rather unianimously, that the "Sex for Grades" policy adopted in so many departments was, if not unethical, then at the very least something that would produce quite a bit of bad press. And boy, did it ever! Rest assured, BASU is moving towards a "merit-based" grading policy and hope to have that in effect sometime before 2012.
So what does the future hold for BASU? The Alumni Association has finally put the finishing touches on the Aligator Pond that sits in the middle of our "beautiful" campus. We're also holding ourselves to the "No Alcohol-Related Deaths" campaign for 2008 (as sadly, our chances for 2007 have been tarnished thanks to the actions of a certain Greek organization that shall remain nameless).
Come visit Benedict Arnold State University today and make the winning difference!*
*By "winning difference", we are not implying that BASU graduates will ever "win" or make any sort of "difference" in life. Furthermore, this institution is no way responsible for any faulty "knowledge" or "information" that any student may receive at any time during their "studies". |
